With life about to dump me firmly on the doorstep of Middle age and then bugger off leaving me to face the contradictory nature of a dissonant one way shell alone, a few of lifes harder truths are starting to tower before me, barring the way to my supposedly (I’ve earnt this haven’t I dammit!?) more serene and laid back twilight years.
The most prominent and most heartbreaking is that my shell will never again portray the tenacious youth and immortality of my earlier years instead choosing to represent me to the world as an ever more irrelevant and crusty relic of a better day that is in a continual and very obvious cycle of decay.
Sadly the soul inside though perpetually more world weary is no less an impetuous wide eyed bag of cum and coloured optimism and childishness than it was throughout its heyday. However much of those traits that were once the charm of a foppish young lad queueing himself up into the wonderful are sadly given a stagnant and even sometimes creepier face when all most people have to judge you on initially is the sagging meat bag you are surrounded by and forced to surreptitiously drag about. Most of the worlds population won’t get to know what lies beneath and the colours and experiences that paint who you are as a person.
The bravado that once made you a confident flirt or a social mainstay now instead drives a wedge into potential connections forcing you to choke back what was once your trademark wit. Now it just seems like you’re clinging on to a sad echo of what once was and your success in holding on to your marbles in the face of the great universal antagonism that is life is now instead seen as a tragic and delusional grab for your former glory.
That layer of tired that you see creeping in more and more is the herald of your final destination. While you see yourself as young as you ever were with an extra overlay of seeping decrepidness, the rest of the planet witnesses your dissolution into obscurity and ultimately into submission to the great leveller.
As Baz Luhrmann said ‘Enjoy the Power and Beauty of Your Youth’. Don’t take it for granted as you sure will miss it when it’s gone. Only then will you realise the power that you squandered.
The Blinding Boy lives on the inside, barring all from seeing the impossible truth with the years he wears on his skin until time takes away his cage and frees him back into the aether once again to play with all the other lost boys.