Party of Injured Souls

Not sure if I am moving toward or trying to flee from something.  I am vaguely aware of being someplace famiar. Rooms which are fragmented start to take shape. I am able to recognize each of these rooms. Slowly moving from one to another.  There are textures, sounds, smells, and even moods I can recall in each. I have memories, of having played and lived here. There was always something wrong with this place. It has, since it was built, been a vessel in which tragedy and strife have taken center stage. Having hosted both the mischievous and truly wicked, inside it’s walls at various times in it’s history. The old place has stood through times of tribulation and rejoicing in it’s tragic community. Knowing both feast and famine, with it’s varied occupants.  As I continue to move throughout the house, I see the furnishings and appointments from my youth, and some that I seem to know, but that weren’t from my time in the house. As I move through each of the rooms, now paying closer attention to areas of the house which hold the strongest memories for me, I realize I am not alone.  I am surrounded by people.  Many of these people I love dearly. Others…others I am now only seeing for the first time, and I know them well from stories my mother told us. They are celebrating something.  I have not determined what, but I join in. Laughing, smiling, talking and enjoying their hospitality.  As I make merry a sudden sense of dread fills my stomach. I am now moving toward the front room. Knowing now what I didn’t at the beginning. This celebration shouldn’t be.  All of these people are long dead.  This house from my youth, burned to the ground thirty-five years ago. I am moving through the crowd, careful not to make eye contact. Not wanting anyone in this party to realize I don’t belong. Or more truthfully, I didn’t want them to reveal to me my place in this hell. Knowing that my body, mind and soul were fighting to wake me.  Reaching for the doorknob, I come awake.  Setting straight up in the bed, heart racing, surrounded by complete darkness, I wonder who is staring at me from the corner of this room.

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